I am, at present, typing, drinking Sake and eating a cheesy bagel surprise. The surprise is how cheesy it is. Another surprise is that I am not morbidly obese, or even obese at all, but isn't morbidly obese a fascinating phrase?

One day, someone in the medical community was trying to decide how to describe the situation where a person is obese to the point that even the imagination cannot fathom the size. Instead of excessively or superbly or shockingly or any other adjective, the chosen word was morbidly.

Now, morbidly can refer to an unhealthy state or unhealthy attitude, but in the mind of the masses makes one think of zombies with rotten flesh hanging off their jowls. The person(s) who chose morbidly knew this, but still thought it the best description of the condition.

The word choice is much like the use of the word myth by some folks who use it to describe accounts from the Bible. While the dictionary definition, for example from ancient Websters available at dict.org: A story of great but unknown age which originally embodied a belief regarding some fact or phenomenon of experience ... blah, blah, blah -- while the dictionary definition may sound accurate, respectful, and even reverent, the masses equate myth with fiction, and so the scholarly types who want to show off the fact that they know what myth really means upset a significant portion of the masses by inadvertently classifying their beliefs as fiction. Thus, the scholarly type inadvertently reveals the fact that he is more properly (or properlier) the clueless type incapable of properly using language for its proper purpose: namely communication.

And that brings us back to clowns.

Cheese is everywhere. Take my wife's blog, entitled Chez Ouiz. Now, the scholarly types out there will immediately recognize that the pronunciation should be French -- shay WEEZ. However, the masses will appreciate the delicate, ingenious, subtle, dry humor my often staid-appearing wife deposits upon the generally clueless masses (which in this case includes the scholarly types) and quickly recognize the alternate, English pronunciation CHEEZ whiz.

I did not put Cheese Whiz on my cheesy bagel surprise. The surprises that deep volumes of Cheese Whiz conjures are too much even for clowns, who clearly must love surprises or they would not be clowns.

I hate clowns.

I venerate clowns.

What do you think of clowns? Take my poll at the right to let us all know.

At the end of my cheesy bagel surprise, I found cheese. And really, at the end of the day, at the end of your cheesy bagel surprise, what more can one hope for than cheese.