Captain Blog was lost at sea for his crew of They spoke only Bubbly.

If you are captain, you should choose a crew with which you can communicate. If you are not captain, you should be more concientious so that you will be promoted. Either way, you should take some time, now, to learn to speak Bubbly.

I am a bud nipper.

A bud nipper is also an opportunist, but a passive one. A pure opportunist has a knack for finding opportunities to advance his own position and takes advantage of them. A passive opportunist isn't really looking for opportunities, but in times of potential trouble takes advantage of opportunities in order to avert it.

A bud nipper is pro-active.

Bud nipping began in the gardens of Slomwath Willikers. Don't bother looking for it on a globe. You won't find it. It sank into the sea just after recorded history began -- actually, to be exact, right after the first volume of recorded history got through its final edit. The author really didn't want to go through THAT again -- he'd already had to re-carve too many tablets due to misplaced commas -- and so left Slomwath Willikers out of the first volume of recorded history. He fully intended to include it in "Recorded History, Volume 2," but he unfortunately .... Well, we don't know what happened to him, because he never recorded anything more and the world had to wait several centuries more before anything else was recorded. By that time, all knowledge of the author of "Recorded History, Volume 1" was lost along with the location of Slomwath Willikers.

I can tell you this: the author of "Recorded History, Volume 1" was not a bud nipper. If he had been, things would have been different.

And that brings me back to today's topic.

Capt. Blog was not a bud nipper. Had he been, he'd have seen the need early in his career to learn to speak Bubbly. He would then have been privy to all the wonderfully lucid, but erroneous things They say. When he got lost at sea, he'd have been able to Bubble, "but They said ...." As it was, though, he guessed at what They said and acted on it, but after getting lost, he couldn't be sure if it was because of what They had told him or if he had just guessed incorrectly. He just couldn't bring himself to point his finger at the parched tongues of They. All because he never nipped a bud.

But They didn't care anyway. They were perfectly content to stay lost at sea once they got that way. They adored the status quo -- in fact They worshiped it as a deity. They caledl it the Status Quothing. The Status Quothing came to our solar system at the time of the The Fall. That's why it's still fallen. No one knows for sure where it came from, but once it got here it found fertile soil for its lies in the hearts and minds of They. Nevermind that it ate a number of They each week for sustenance. The Status Quothing made sure no change ever came to They to hurt them. They could handle a few sacrificial losses to maintain their peace. Change is scary and potentially very dangerous.

So when Capt. Blog got lost at sea, They were upset because the ship had not been lost and then became lost, but once the deed was done, They preferred it stay lost lest they anger the Status Quothing and it leave them to have to flounder through life facing challenges, thinking, making decisions, and applying reason to solve problems rather than relying on their lore set down in the Book of Little Wisdoms by that famous Theynite: Anonymous.

Anonymous was married to Old. Old was a dear woman who likeed to make up tales to tell her children and neighbors to encourage them along the path of the Status Quothing.

Basing decisions on stories made up by eccentric old Anonymous and his wife Old's tales turned out to be disastrous for They. Their paradise Island home sank into the sea. Once it hit bottom, rather than swim up and start anew, they followed the advice in the Book of Little Wisdoms: "They sayeth: do not swimmeth against the current. Maketh not a mountain when a mole-hill will do, for what goest up the mountain must cometh down. Thou can not fighteth what thou can not seeist. Therefore, keepeth the hill small, lest the current rusheth, and fighteth not the current, for thou can not seeist it and it rusheth not. If thou keepest these words in thine heart, thou will cometh to rest upon the head of the mole as the last of the water drippeth away and the sun warmeth they smiling cheeks. So sayeth They."

They didn't swim up. They didn't fight. One and all they sank, and the Status Quothing, fearing the loss of easy meals, saved them. Origin of the mer-people legends worldwide, they adapted to their underwater home. You don't hear about mer-people any more. Really, you can't maintain a terrestrial civilization under water for long. When their numbers had dwindled under the pressures of their existence and the teeth of the Status Quothing, the last remnants of They boldly made a choice to turn away from the past and swam to the surface where they got good jobs with benefits aboard the seafaring vessel, The Phat Pensi under the illustrious Capt. Blog.

They were not bud nippers. Bud nipping often requires going out on a limb, taking a risk, going against conventional cultural wisdom -- whether that be national, corporate, or departmental culture -- and changing the status quo. When They say "don't fix what ain't broke," do not bow down to the Status Quothing, but rise up and meet the mole hill square in the teeth and say, "beist thou a mountain!" and with a mustard-seed of faith and smattering of reason, throw the mountain into the sea from whence They came. Nip the bud and plant the new blossom of fantastical visions of a future of concrete and steel.

As you go out and approach the day today, approach it with pruning sheers, Lil' Johnny. The bud of opportunity may spring from the very stem of morning and stare you in the chops, and only you can nip it before it blossoms into the flower of regret. They won't help you.

Capt. Blog was never seen or heard from again. That's what They say anyway. It isn't recorded.