I have an awful dictionary. I do not replace it. Why do I not replace it? Because my dictionary is Webster's NEW WORLD Dictionary and so I don't want to miss out on being part of the new world.

My dictionary describes the word jive as ...

... follows, and I quote in total:

jive (jiv) n. [] [Slang] foolish, exaggerated, or insincere talk --adj. [Slang] insincere, fraudulent, etc.

That's it. There is no more. That's because in the new world things will be like that.

I like stuff. I like the word and I like having stuff. Stuff is good, stuff is keen, stuff is the stuff that makes chickens preen. I don't think that liking my stuff makes me sinful. I don't think that liking having stuff makes me unholy. Some of my stuff has holes.

My dictionary defines preen as follows ...
preen (pren) vt. [proinen, to dress up] 1 to clean and trim (the feathers) with a beak 2 to dress up or adorn (oneself) 3 to pride (oneself)

The "e" in the pronunciation should have a little bar over it, but I don't know how to make that an "e" with a little bar over it with HTML.

I know a lot of things. I know, for example, that Austrailia is both a country and a continent. I know that red stars are cooler than blue stars. I know that urine is potable.

Ironically, though urine is potable people are revolted by the thought of drinking it. Dogs and cats are edible, and in some parts of the world they are eaten, but here people are revolted by the thought of eating dogs and cats.

"What kind of farm do you have?"

"What do you raise on your dog farm?"

"Why, that would be dogs!"

Based on my dictionary's definition, if someone danced the Jive, they'd be dancing insincerely, fradulently, etc.ly.

What's it like when someone dances insincerely? What's it like to be in the audience watching someone dance insincerely?

"Wow! Brav .... oh. Well, that was magnificent, but ... well, it was so ... insincere. I mean, he just didn't mean it. I need to go now."

My dictionary puts "the feathers" in parentheses, like this "(the feathers)." That's because in the New World, everyone will have a beak. We'll use our beaks to clean and trim. We'll clean and trim a lot, but not jively -- no, we'll really mean it, unike that jive dancer.

Clowns are insincere. They reek insincerity. In fact, I think clowns hate us -- they hate us non-clowns. Just like deaf people hate people who can hear.

I watched a part of a PBS show, that was not jive, that told the story of the "deaf culture." Apparently, the deaf have a culture of their own and in the words of one of the deaf people, it is "beautiful." I don't know what that means -- they have their own culture -- but then I wouldn't and couldn't if I wanted to because I can hear. Moreover, many deaf people like being deaf and would stay that way even if they had a choice.

Anyway, as a subculture, the deaf think that we who are not deaf think the deaf are stupid, inferior, or otherwise discriminate against them.

My response? "I really don't give a ... what's the sign for 'crap'?"

I've never thought or known anyone who thinks that deaf people are in any way inferior to people who can hear. I never even thought of them as "them" as opposed to "us" until it was pointed out to me that they think that about me. So why are the deaf so paranoid, arrogant, and angry?

I think it is because ... and I'm sorry if you are deaf and this upsets you ... deafness is just not debilitating enough that you can't fairly easily learn to live with it.

In fact, if you have to lose a sense, the only one I can think of that would be less debilitating would be smell. Well, or maybe taste. We really don't need those. Anyway, we've all experienced some semblance of deafness at some point -- not complete, so don't get your undies in a wad if you are deaf -- but moments where for one reason or another sounds go unnoticed or unheard and we miss something.

But deafness isn't, say, like paralysis. Now there's a tough one. Or blindness.

So, deaf people, I think, these days, don't have it as bad as they think they do or as their grandparents did (or would have if their grandparents had been deaf if they were not). This makes deaf people think they have overcome greater obstacles than they have and so they think they're particularly good at overcoming obstacles, which creates a collective culture of arrogance and a sense of a virtual society of perfection.

Maybe all that is jive, but deaf people really need to lighten up and realize that those of us who can hear really don't think much about deafness, certainly don't think less of deaf people because of their disability, and will gladly accomodate deaf people in ways to ease their burden.

Finally, I've just got to say, if I was an amputee and someone said, "hey, hey! I can grow your leg back!" You better believe I'd let him. I think it says a lot that deaf people in general, if you said, "hey! hey! I can give you your hearing!" would say, "NO!" Come on! If you want stupid, stupid is willingly going through life with one of your senses missing when you don't have to.

Now that is jive.

In the New World, apparently, there is a lot of that.